Snow
by Ayingott
Summary: It's snowing. Ryoma's heart ir broken. Broken Thrill Pair.


''I wonder if it's all right for me to go back.''

The snow slowly falling down from the black sky and landing on top of his head, only to melt away few seconds later. His hair was already damp and the chilly wind only worsened his cold.

He didn't have a warm winter coat or jacket, like the few people passing by. In the moments heat he had dashed out of the apartment they shared, taking with him only a not so warm sweater.

"It's cold." Ryoma mumbled to himself and started to walk again.

Each step the he took was followed by the sound of crunching snow. His footprints left in the white cover were the only ones. And even those soon faded as snow kept on falling.

Ryoma didn't know where he was and actually he didn't even care. The fight that he had with Fuji was still fresh in his mind and the things that he had said still painfully pierced his heart.

He laughed a sad, quiet laugh to himself. He had known all along that Fuji cheated on him. He came home almost every day having the smell of cheap hotel soap and some guy's cologne or women's perfume on.

It was painful feeling the same warm hands on his body that had pleasured someone else, tasting the taste of cheap alcohol and another person each time Fuji kissed him. But the pain that broke his heart was when he heard Fuji say 'I love you' over and over again and being able to tell that it was a lie, that there are no actual feelings.

When Ryoma got home today and found his lover having sex with another man on their bed, he just snapped. He didn't want to pretend anymore and lie that it's ok; everybody makes mistakes and all that shit. Especially when Fuji didn't seem the least bit embarrassed, ashamed and the only thing that he said, before continuing what he was doing was 'Oh my, you're back faster that I thought'.

All the pain and hurt that he had bottled up in himself just released itself and he went up to Fuji and slapped him hard, that the sound of impact made the unknown male jump from fear.

"_What exactly I am to you?" Ryoma almost yelled in Fuji's face. "Do you really think that I will just smile and walk away after seeing this, just like all the other times? I've had enough of this! Just who do you take me for? Your fucking dutch wife?"_

_Fuji recovered pretty fast and yelled back: "Well maybe you are! After all, who could love someone like you, who just cares about tennis and almost never shows his emotions? Besides, I have never loved you to begin with, so why should I start now?"_

_The words stung him like knifes. Tears started to form in the corners of his eyes and with every sharp intake of breath Ryoma felt his heart breaking more and more._

"_Is that so…" his hand clutching the shirt he was wearing. Bangs covering his eyes he turned around "In that case, I guess I'll just leave." _

_Fuji was yelling something behind him, but Ryoma ignored it and ran out of the apartment as fast as he could, after slipping in his sports shoes and grabbing the closest piece of clothing to wear over his t-shirt._

So Ryoma ran. Ran far away as possible from that apartment, while tears were streaming down his face and sobs echoed in the dark nightly air, together with the sound of his feet touching the newly fallen snow and the ground beneath it.

One way or another he wound up in the almost deserted park. Only some teenagers and people who worked late were rushing through it, not even one noticing Ryoma. But then again, at this moment he didn't want to be noticed.

"It's cold." He repeated and with his eyes searched for a place to hide from the snow, even just for a little while.

Finding non Ryoma just sat on one of the many benches that were in the park. His bottom soon became uncomfortably wet and cold, but he didn't pay attention to it. His fingers were already frozen and some strands of his hair had a thin layer of ice on them.

The hot puffs of breath that formed when he breathed out slowly became slower and smaller, as Ryoma's sensed dulled even more that they already were. His eyelids slowly closed and he couldn't get his body to move. The last tears escaped from the corners of his eyes, leaving a thin trail of ice on his cheeks.

The snow kept on falling on Ryoma's seemingly lifeless body, piling up as if trying to cover it from the rest of the world.

The last thing that went through Ryoma's mind was: '_I don't want to wake up._'

But he did wake up. In the hospital with someone he didn't know if he would meet again. That person looked truly worried about him and didn't leave his side until he was released.

Fuji didn't come or call him even once, but Ryoma already knew that it would be that way. He didn't even hope that Fuji would have a sudden change of heart.

He was already too old to dream about such fairy tale like endings.

"Ryoma, are you ok?" he took his eyes off the scenery that could be seen behind the taxi window.

"Maybe I'll be someday, but not right now."

It was still snowing and it seemed that it won't stop for a long time.

* * *

**A/N: And once again I have written something depressive…**

**I did found out that for me writing angst is much easier, than comedy or something like that.**

**Weird.. -.-**

**P.S. The dutch wife thing i got from one of the many yaoi mangas that i have read, I don't remember wich one though.  
**


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